Day 176: Recuperating

After shaking up my very necessarily rigid sleep schedule, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to get back on it.  Sleep is such an f’d up thing for me…insomnia at night, delayed sleep syndrome, and then narcolepsy during the day.  Taking Trazodone to sleep, Gabapentin to stay asleep, and Nuvigil to stay awake.  Why is something that should be so normal and natural such a difficult thing for me?  What is wrong with my brain that causes all of this?  And, dammit, isn’t 1 sleep disorder enough?  Why do I have to have 3?  And why does 1 bad night have to throw my pattern off for days?  I just had to get that out of my system or I’d be standing out in the yard in the middle of the night screaming it loudly to the universe…and waking up my neighbors.  I didn’t fall asleep until 1:30am Friday morning even though I was exhausted and couldn’t wake up at my regular time Friday morning so I was late for work and had to drag myself through the day.  Then I had to go buy more bandaging materials for Rick after work.  I swore I’d fall asleep early but didn’t until after 12:30am.  And I slept through my alarm this morning so I didn’t wake up until after 11:30.  The good news is that I feel so much better than I did yesterday.  The bad news is that my sleep schedule is still screwed up.  I’ll be working on it for a while just trying to get back in the right pattern, but I’m rested right now.  Rick is doing better.  It was a little touch and go yesterday because he was bleeding quite a bit but after we got his leg cleaned up and rebandaged the bleeding slowed down a lot.  He is feeling stronger today.  He just couldn’t understand why he was feeling so weak Thursday and yesterday so I broke it down for him…he lost 3 – 4 pints of blood and that’s 1/4 – 1/3 of all the blood in his system.  What I don’t understand is why he didn’t receive any blood while at the hospital.  Oh well, he’s on the mend after all that he went through and that’s all that matters.  All he has to do now is get through the cardiac ablation on Tuesday.  I dread it though because I’ll be apologizing to nurses right and left the entire time he’s there.  He is the absolute worst patient.  But I love him so I’ll do whatever I need to do for him just like he does for me.  We’re a pretty good team.


About Donna Heilman

I am a writer that lives in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex with my husband, 2 dogs, and 10 cats. I am currently working on my novel, Rapture, as well as writing poetry and some short non-fiction. I am honestly writing this blog to feel more connected with other creative people.
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2 Responses to Day 176: Recuperating

  1. Maggie says:

    Sending you love for the days ahead. Hopefully you will be well rested after the weekend and before Tuesday rolls around.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you again. I feel better today even though I didn’t fall asleep until after 3:30. But I slept until 10:30. Thankfully, we don’t have to be at the hospital until 8:00am rather than the break of dawn like we usually have to be. It’s the small things that are making me happy right now.


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