When we decide that we want something…I mean REALLY want something…how hard are we willing to work for it? I’m talking about wanting something truly life-changing. The life-changing thing that I want more than I can express is to be a published author. But as much as I want it, I have not put the work into it that I need to in order to actually have it. I am a total procrastinator. I work too late. I am a slave to my sleep disorders and the meds that I take to control them. My ADHD and OCD get in the way and sabotage me. I let myself become exhausted and run down to the point that I end up becoming ill. I could go on and on but you get the idea. So, basically, I need to want it enough to take better care of myself and stay healthy. That means I have to stop working so late. Get more sleep. Eat better. Lose some weight. Figure out some exercises that I can do that won’t exacerbate my RA which has been really giving me problems over the last few months. Meditate. Set some boundaries. And actually, work on Rapture…sit my butt down in the chair and just do it. I’m still going to be tired or not feeling well whether I write or not. I have to be stronger and tougher than all of these impediments. There are people with much worse issues than I have that have accomplished great things in spite of what they are going through. So, I just need to woman up and get to work. That’s how bad I really want it.
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